Ten Months Later

I certainly didn't mean for ten months to go by without posting something, but well...life got in the way, I guess.

So--- health, good and bad: I got great cholesterol test results last fall, after losing some weight with WW, as well as eating more strictly vegan (making sure I ate much less cheese and other dairy, mainly). I still had an elevated "bad" cholesterol level, but not enough that my doc wanted to put me on meds. Unfortunately, I found out through a bone scan (ordered by doc because I'd been without ovaries for a while, perhaps?) that I have osteoporosis. I was so shocked when they called that I burst into tears and felt a weird sense of disbelief? Me? I've exercised regularly for years, and spent ten years living in the sun, as well as doing weight training. I refused to start any medication for it, having read VERY BAD THINGS about most of them, and started doing some research. I started taking a multivitamin with calcium, magnesium, boron, and some other stuff I can't recall right now, as well as taking strontium citrate. I had started taking kettlebell classes and doing some weight training at a local gym, and though I felt a bit nervous (when you read about having osteo, good Lord -- some articles make it sound like your spine will snap in half if you bend over incorrectly!), I knew that weight training is the only non-drug/supplement thing one can do to actually strengthen bone. I will have another scan a year from this fall to see if I have improved or not. I realize that for people with severe osteoporosis, bones can break when they are simply standing and doing nothing, but my numbers were just over the edge of osteopenia into osteoporosis, so after months of normal activities with no problems, I felt more confident that I'd be okay exercising with weights. My daughter and I took a 10-week yoga class, which I really found helpful in stretching out my muscles and gaining improved balance.

I also found out that a vegan diet is best for helping osteoporosis, so it's probably great that I've stopped eating meat and (most) dairy. I can't really call myself a vegan because I still eat ice cream sometimes and baked goods that coworkers bring to work that have eggs..and probably other things I don't want to know about.

I took a class last fall on the book Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole. I'd read the book years ago -- I own a copy and I'm sure I've talked about the book in past blog posts. However, this class was sort of a study of the book and its principles. It was really helpful for me to talk about it within a group with a facilitator who struggles with dieting/rebound dieting/overexercise. I dropped out of WW, and I was able to develop some more "normal" feelings about food. I'd struggled a bit with restricting and bingeing and such. This class really helped me re-focus and get my head back on straight. I haven't weighed myself since the first week of class, nine or so months ago. I'm fairly sure I weigh about the same now as I did then.

I really feel as though I had two MAJOR victories this past year, as we went on vacation twice and (judging by the fit of my clothing) I lost weight on both vacations. DH and I went with four other couples to an all-inclusive resort in Mexico last November. It was all-you-can-eat-and-drink, but I didn't struggle a lot with overeating. It helped that the desserts were mediocre at best, though the ice cream was yummy. I don't often drink anything but water, so that may have also helped. I used the gym twice, but was otherwise a great success at lying around doing nothing but talking. I even worked up the courage to wear a bikini. In public. In front of four of our couple friends.

Our second vacation was a Disney cruise -- 9 days in Florida and the Caribbean. The food was fantastic, but there was a vegan option at each meal, and the servings were very normal. Even the desserts were quite small, by normal American restaurant standards. That was perfect for me, as was the option each night to order the dessert sampler -- three of the night's choices on a plate, each about three bites big. We were so busy with activities onboard that we didn't snack at all. Three meals a day with no snacks was perfect. I was hungry for my meals, but didn't think about eating in between them.

This spring and summer I have still been taking kettlebells and visiting the gym, but sadly I've only been doing it about twice a week. My dad broke four ribs last winter and I've spent a lot of time caring for him and doing errands and chores for him. He recovered well, and was able to walk without even a cane when he started having a lot of hip pain. He's been to three different doctors, and no one can say what it is. Meanwhile, he's crabby and doesn't want to go anywhere or do anything because simply standing or walking hurts. He's living in a retirement apartment, but I am still buying his groceries, doing his laundry, and doing a bunch of chores for him. It's like having a third child who lives twenty minutes from me! So I have much less time to tend to my own health than I did last summer. I went through some mild depression over the spring, and still feel a bit now. I was on a very low dose of Welbutrin over the winter for my Seasonal Affective Disorder, but I weaned myself from it in May, which probably only added to the depression. There were many mornings this past spring when I could barely drag myself from bed at the last possible minute, let alone get up early to exercise. After work I was exhausted, and many times had to go to my dad's. I know I probably sound somewhat whiney, but I hate not having the energy and ambition to exercise regularly, when I've been so faithful about it for so many, many years. I have felt a bit better now that there is more sun and the days are longer, but still not really like my old self.

I have been toying with the idea of trying to cut back on the amount of sugar I eat, but every time I think of attempting it, I immediately want to eat a bunch of junk. My SIL has been really successful with eating healthier and she's lost about 100 pounds. She completely cut out sugar, bread, pasta (most starchy carbs really, even starchy veg), dairy (she is gluten and dairy intolerant anyway), etc. She really only eats free range, grassfed beef, free range eggs and chicken, nonstarchy veg, and coconut oil. She used to adore coffees with loads of sugar, so I don't know how she gave it up. I don't need to lose more than 20 pounds at most, but I know if I could give up sugar.... Sigh. I've had that same thought 100 times, and never been successful. I suppose maybe going totally vegan would be a start?

A Doughnut is Just a Doughnut

I had a slight gain at home last week, but a slight loss at WW. I think I'd believe the loss more, since I overate a lot last Saturday at my daughter's party, but ended the week at -2 points. I wore three pair of pants last week that I hadn't been able to wear for at least 18 months, and I felt quite good about that.

My daughter's school had "Family Donut Day" last week. I looked up a glazed doughnut and saw that it was 7 points, so I ate just some egg whites and veggies for breakfast that day, planning to eat and enjoy a doughnut. They were getting the treats from a local bakery that is famous for its fabulous doughnuts, so I wanted to have one. When I got it and took a bite, I thought "Hmm. It tastes like any other glazed doughnut I've ever eaten". I had two more bites and chewed them slowly, just to make sure, but yep, it was nothing exciting or special. It sat next to me for an hour while I handed out tickets to families coming in the door, and then I threw it away. I didn't feel any regret about it, either. It was just a doughnut with no magical powers or forbidden appeal.

Yesterday I baked chocolate chip cookies, always a huge temptation for me. I wondered if perhaps I was making a mistake because I'd been having those "I want to sit around and eat junk" urges all morning. To help out somewhat, I made a pan cookie instead of a zillion scooped cookies. I ate one small bit of dough, and enough small tastes of the finished bar to equal about two cookies. I counted the points and felt okay about the whole thing. I sort of wished I'd just eaten two cookies though, rather than just a bunch of little tastes while I was cutting them and putting them away. I could have had one nicely sized cookie with a cup of decaf and thoroughly enjoyed it. Next time. I'm taking most of them to a school fundraiser the elementary school is having today, but I left about eight of them for us. I don't know that I'll eat any more, but they are there if I want one.

I'm going to a baby shower today. I don't know if there will be food there, since it's at 2pm. Maybe cake. If it's a supermarket cake, I don't know that I'll even be tempted to eat it. Can you say "partially hydrogenated oil"? Ew.

My hip has been bothering me lately, and I'm wondering if I need to cut back on the exercise a bit. I usually walk at least 10,000 steps a day, in addition to doing 50 min of elliptical or stationary bike, and only take one rest day a week. That doesn't seem excessive to me, but a couple of years ago, my hip was bothering me for a while, and when I really cut back on exercising for a while, the soreness went away. My knee has been hurting too. I thought when I got below 150 (I think I'm 153 right now), it wouldn't really hurt much anymore. So today is a rest day. I walked the dog 2 miles this morning, but will probably not do much the rest of the day. The shower is over an hour's drive, and then I'll be sitting on my behind there for a while before driving back home another hour plus.

Weight Watching

I have a confession to make. I joined Weight Watchers. I know, I know -- I am now kicked out of the "intuitive eaters" club. My coworker was joining and I went along. I was prepared to hate it, but I have to say that I am very impressed with the changes they've made in the 6 or so years since I previously joined (for a whopping few weeks). The amount of "points" I have to spend on food is enough to keep me from going hungry, provided I don't eat a bunch of fat or sugar filled foods. I suppose that could be said of any "diet", couldn't it? Fruits and vegetables are now "free", except for peas, corn, and potatoes. It does seem a bit out of whack that a baked potato and a big mall pretzel both have five points, but the point system has been overhauled mostly to the good, as far as I can tell. No more encouraging people to eat 1 point hot dogs.

I was really happy with the leader the first week. She talked about how she doesn't cook so she eats in restaurants twice a day every day (whoa...) and eats whatever she wants, not just dry chicken breasts and salad. She went down a bit in my estimation this week when she discussed getting rid of things in your environment so you won't eat them. I know it makes sense -- Brian Wansink showed in his book about mindless eating that people ate more m&ms when they were visible -- so, out of sight, out of mind. Or out of kitchen, out of mouth. BUT, again you have the problem of not being able to throw out all of the m&ms in the world. Sooner or later, you'll be faced with a buffet and you may stuff yourself with multiple desserts, dips, chips, and other foods you haven't seen in weeks or months -- if you haven't made peace with food.

I was going along well til we went to a part on Saturday night. I took some vegan chili so I'd have something to eat, but ended up overeating because I took a few spoonfuls of other things and got overfull. Can you say TRIGGER? I had a few small spoonfuls of desserts and was even more full. Then more people -- with more desserts -- arrived and I had some MORE desserts. I estimated my point intake that day to be about 100 (when I'm allotted 26 per day plus 49 "extra" per week, plus points for activity). However, because I felt accountable to my coworker and WW, I was able to put it behind me and not continue with that behavior for the rest of the week. Rather than throwing in the towel, I ate intuitvely on Sunday. That meant that I actually ate only 21 points. You really aren't supposed to eat fewer than 26, but I honestly wasn't very hungry (perhaps because I overate on Saturday night?). We went out to IHOP for breakfast and I ordered one of the "healthy" omelets. There wasn't anything vegan on the menu that was healthy, and I figured it wouldn't kill me to eat some egg substitute. That was around 9:30am and I wasn't hungry for lunch until 4pm!

On Monday I still wasn't very hungry and ate under 26 points. I ended up with a four pound weight loss for my first week, which surprised me. I ate normally on Tuesday and Wednesday, and so far today. I've been doing fairly well with the McDougall diet, though I can't give up my one Lindt truffle a day or my coffee. I've discovered that I love broccoli and other cooked vegetables with spaghetti sauce (meatless, of course) and hot sauce over them. Mmmmmm.........