So, here I am-- back. I'm not quite as recovered as I thought I was. I was really determined to enjoy our vacation out east -- and I did -- but halfway through it, my zen eating kind of fell apart and never really came back. Once we were home, I started struggling daily with overexercising, overeating at dinner, and eating when not hungry -- sometimes almost to the point of bingeing. I can't really put my finger on what triggered it all, except that (and I feel as though this sound ridiculous) my therapist kind of broke up with me. At my last appointment with her, she said, "Well, do you want to make another appointment or do you want to wait and see how you feel?" I was kind of taken aback and made an appointment for 6 weeks out. As I left, she said, "Just call if it gets close and you don't feel the need to come." I felt kind of odd, though I knew that she really can't help me much anymore. I know what there is to know about recovering, I have the tools I need to make good choices, and it's totally 100% up to me to change. By the time the appointment time was close, I was feeling out of control and didn't want to have to go and admit that to her, so I cancelled.
Last week was a pretty good one, as this week has been -- unless you count the weekend, when I relapsed into some mindless overeating. I'm hoping that I have climbed out of the little dip in the road that I fell into in June and can continue down the path to good health. I HAVE made some strides this summer, in spite of my stumble. I have really slowed down my eating at many meals, and am not the first one done every single time I eat with others. I have also been able to stop at about 5.5 at many dinners, and just about all breakfasts and lunches. Now, if I can keep my hand out of the cookie jar, so to speak.....
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