Lately, my attempts at intuitive eating have been spotty at best. I think I'm trying to do too many things at once -- eat slowly, eat when hungry, eat without distractions, eat small portions, stop when 80% full.... As a result, I'm not doing anything consistently or well. I've also had diety thoughts and the temptation to overexercise creeping in.
I'm going to start one that is very difficult for me -- eating without distractions -- and do it every meal (well, probably not dinner since there are three other people at the table) for a week. If I am doing it well by then, I'll add in something else. This morning I was eating breakfast and wow, it was so difficult to just eat. I kept reaching for the mail, the paper, a magazine...it was ridiculously hard to just concentrate on what I was eating! This will be quite a challenge for me.
I've been weaning myself from the Welbutr*n I've used for my SAD, which is making me really tired a lot of the time. I guess it was giving me a lot of pep. I've been getting sleepy in the afternoons and yesterday I went to bed before 9pm, after taking a 15-minute nap in the afternoon. I am not a napper, so this afternoon sleepiness is very odd for me.
I am taking C to a birthday party at the mall and will have a couple of hours to myself there. I had decided I would look for some pants because I don't have too many pair that aren't too loose now. The very thought of clothes shopping has sent me into a mental tizzy and I have just wanted to eat and overeat all week long. Ay-yi-yi. At least after tonight it will be over. I'll either have bought some pants or not. The truth is that I am afraid that the next smaller size won't fit me and it will trigger something. I am aware of this, though, so I am prepared to not allow it to happen. I have a choice. Every time I choose not to allow dumb things like this affect my behavior, I am stronger and more healed.
Meet Hank, the Valley Bulldog
4 days ago