Update

I feel great! I can’t even remember the last time I was tempted to restrict or binge. I still eat a vegetarian diet most of the time and I try to eat a decent amount of fruits and veggies, but when we’re out and I have a sudden mad craving for chicken strips, I order them. I eat a couple, I’m satisfied, and I take the rest home. To be honest, mad cravings don’t happen often. I think that cravings or binges are tied to not feeding yourself enough and not allowing yourself to eat things you long for. Now that I truly know that I can eat ice cream whenever I want, I don’t long for it like I used to. I eat when I’m hungry. If I’m hungry for lunch at 11am, I don’t try and force myself to wait until noon or later. If I’m hungry in mid afternoon, I have a snack. As a result, I’m usually not ravenous at dinner and it ends up being my smallest meal most of the time.

I’m going to the gym two or three times a week, but if I miss a time, I don’t beat myself up. I still try and walk 5 miles a day on my Fitbit, but I don’t stay up to March around if I’m not quite there at bedtime. I don’t weigh myself, but it’s lovely to find that clothes fit me season after season. My pants become a bit snug after the holidays and a bit loose in the summer, but I’m pretty sure my weight is about the same most of the time.

Giving up the idea that I’ll probably never again be less than a size ten unless I fall ill was a long, hard struggle. My mental health is so much better, however, that it was all worth it.