On An Upswing

In spite of feeling rather queasy all weekend, I'm feeling pretty upbeat today. I was getting nervous that I might be pg because I have been so tired and now was queasy. However, my fears were allayed today. Whew.

I saw my new doctor for a "getting to know you" visit today. She was wowed by my impressive surgical history and my low blood pressure. She is sending me to have a blood test for lipids, CA125, sugar, etc., and a vaginal ultrasound. I just had one in May, but since I'm seeing her for a physical in April she wants me to have one done before then. I broached the subject of having my ovaries removed, but she'd really like to see me wait until menopause. I felt a little uneasy because she was surprised to heat that a BRCA1+ mutation confers a higher risk of ovarian cancer, but maybe she's never had a BRCA1+ patient. I got a new prescription for migraine medication too. I had such a bad headache the other night that I took some of my leftover Vicodin (it's actually expired, but I figure it's still okay, right?). I spoke to her about my eating issues and she said she has a patient who is in a support group that has been very helpful. She said she'd look up the info for me if I can't get in to see a psychologist, or even if I do see one.

I called the psychologist I wrote about last time and made an appointment for Feb 20. I'm nervous, but mostly I feel really relieved. I had a totally normal weekend, as far as eating goes -- feeling queasy probably helped with that though. I ate my meals and snacks and nothing in between. Actually, yesterday I didn't even eat snacks or lunch. We went out to breakfast late and I wasn't hungry til 6pm or so.

Thank you for your supportive comments on my last post. It's funny -- I am a very competitive person, but in yoga I'm so focused on trying to get the pose right that I don't really even notice the other women in the room. Most of them are my age or older and not exactly slim, which probably helps me not to feel inadequate or judged. The thing I worry most about is when the teacher says the name of the pose and I think, "AACK! Which one is that?!?"