I took a couple of days off last week to shop, wrap, write cards, etc. Having C come home at noon really cuts into the day though, and I wasn't quite as productive as I'd planned. Today is my last day of work until December 27 and I'm looking forward to having several days off. Tomorrow I have to make 24 cookie mixes in a jar, finish the Christmas letter and cards, and bake. That won't be too restful! I'm going to have to take special care not to eat out of resentment, being tired, etc.
We went to Frankenmuth last Saturday with T's brother and family. Visiting Bronner's was a very surreal experience. I'm pretty sure I've never seen that many ornaments in one place before. We ate at Zehnder's, which is a mecca for people who like to eat a LOT. Holy cow -- the buffet was gigantic. I didn't order it because I knew there was no way I'd eat $20 in food. I only ate half of the $10 chicken dinner I did order. Buffets have an ick factor for me anyway -- lukewarm bland food with serving utensils touched by lots of unwashed hands. Ewww. The bakery at Zehnder's was filled with lucious looking cakes, cookies, and the like, but I resisted buying anything. I was full, even with half a lunch, until about 8pm. We visited the Mirror Maze, which the kids loved. It made me nauseated, but it was fun for a while.
My eating has been okay. I had one mini-binge episode last night when I ate about 9 graham crackers, but other than that I've talked myself out of any urges since a week ago Sunday (when I had the carrot cake pig out). Last Friday was HARD -- I just wanted to binge from dawn til dusk. I realized that I really just had a terrible headache and eating definitely wasn't going to help. Late afternoon I had a strong urge, but I knew T and I were going out to dinner and I wanted to be hungry for it, so I just had a snack. I feel hopeful that it's getting easier to resist the urge to eat when I'm not hungry. I made cinnamon rolls on Sunday and I ate one, along with an egg. I wanted more, but I was full. I just told myself that I could eat another one whenever I wanted. I still wanted to eat it, but not so much that I overruled my desire to be normal. My coworkers have been bringing in wave after wave of goodies. I've been doing some impulsive eating -- just because it's there and looks so delicious -- but not stuffing myself or anything. I've been having back-and-forth diet thoughts, but so far I haven't been able to summon any real enthusiasm for trying to lose weight. I've been eating really small meals -- one piece of pizza for dinner last night, and only half my dinner when we've gone out -- but the grazing on goodies probably makes up for that.
I had an odd experience last week when I fell on the ice in the driveway. I heard a loud crunch in my knee, but rather than doing any damage I think I actually broke some scar tissue. It seems to me that my knee bends a bit farther than it used to. How weird is that?!? Weird, but kind of good.
Do I Have Postpartum Depression?
5 days ago