Whoa-- what a weekend. Friday night my dh was working (making extra $$ working security at the football game), so I was a single parent. I was completely stressed out, trying to bake a cake for R's birthday party the next day, make stew for her family birthday lunch on Sunday, make dinner for the three of us, clean up for the party, walk the dog, and get to bed at a decent hour. At one point, C was having a breakdown about something and I wanted to have a breakdown too. I really just wanted to run downstairs and fling myself headlong into the halloween chocolate in the living room candy dish. Instead I took some deep breaths, washed my face, and got on with all of the crap I had to do. It was a much better solution.
Saturday morning I zipped across town to walk in a 5K to raise money for breast cancer. I was very pleased to find that I can still walk quickly (with the dog, it's walk. stop. sniff. walk. stop. sniff....) and finished in about 75 minutes. I zipped back across town for C's soccer game, then went home to finish preparations for R's birthday slumber party. Seven giggly girls arrived, got glammed up with fancy hairdos and makeup, and we all drove downtown for a photo shoot. They had a ball and felt really gorgeous in their finery. The highlight of the evening was when we ran into the homecoming queen and her friends. They asked the girls to pose for a picture with them, and the girls were over the moon. Not much sleep was had by anyone at our house that night, but they had a wonderful time. I ate a small piece of cake and a small scoop of ice cream and left it at that. Did I want more? Of course. I may even have eaten more if I'd been alone. I wasn't alone and just looked at it longingly for a few minutes before reminding myself that I could have more tomorrow. It was okay to leave it.
Sunday, a bunch of family members came over for lunch and we had a pleasant time visiting. More cake and ice cream was eaten and no spectacular binge urges followed. T and I went off to bowling, where I bowled above my (82) average all three games. I even bowled a 122 on my second game! I woke up this morning thinking, "Where did my weekend go?". I'd lost another pound when I weighed myself Saturday, making about 13 total pounds lost since mid July. It's amazing how "skinny" I feel, since at 164, I still weigh more than I have since about 1991. I guess it's all about perspective.
Someone asked in my comments if I'd journaled about my (mostly) avoiding a binge. I didn't really (except for writing about it here), but that is a good idea. Once I get some distance from the situation, it's difficult to remember what caused it and how I felt about it.
Do I Have Postpartum Depression?
5 days ago