My attempts to eat until satisfied and not beyond aren't going so well. At breakfast and (mostly) at lunch, okay. Dinner? I've only managed it twice since my post. I'm still trying though. It's not like I'm overeating french fries and hamburgers -- I don't often cook dinners that aren't healthy -- but overeating salad is still overeating. Then I feel kind of sad that I don't get hungry before bed so I feel guilty eating a snack or dessert.
I had some sort of odd freak-out last week and one evening I ate so much in such a short time that it almost could be considered a binge. Maybe it was a mini-binge. I talked to my therapist about it and she said that I've made so much progress in such a short time that I shouldn't be surprised that I backslide a bit sometimes. I've been really, really busy lately and under stress at work due to changes coming down the pipeline, so I dealt with it in the old, comforting way. Since I went to see her I've been okay. I told her about how angry I'd been when my FIL told me that my BIL wouldn't "let" his wife buy brownies and she suggested that perhaps I was internalizing it. I thought, "Oh -- duh! Of course I was!" Food and weight is still a very touchy issue with me.
I'm going out to eat tonight with four coworkers. I'm praying that they don't talk about what they "should" be eating and/or how "bad" they're being, but I think my prayers are in vain. Sigh. I am going to order what sounds best to me and eat until satisfied and do my best to ignore their judgments. Tomorrow T and I are going out to eat with about 9 other couples and then to a concert with 1980s music. It should be fun, though I'm dreading the late night. We usually go to bed by 9pm and this concert doesn't even start until 10pm. I can't sleep in on Sunday either. And we have our last league bowling day on Sunday. I will now stop wingeing and concentrate on how much fun we'll have!
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