Wednesday, November 08, 2006

ineffective coping skills

I didn't weigh myself this morning. Part of it was fear about what I'd see after having a bingey evening on Monday. But I'm also tired of having my mood dictated by the scale. I'm going to see how long I can hold off on weighing myself. I think (unless you count the time I was bedridden 16 months ago) the longest I've ever gone is 3 weeks or so.

At our CORE meeting Saturday, we were working through one of the steps in the 12-step marriage book (it's not as weird as it sounds), and I copied down something that struck me. It said "ineffective coping skills are a learned behavior. What is learned can be unlearned -- it is not a part of me or my character". It gave me new hope -- what is learned can be unlearned. Being a binge or compulsive eater is not part of me or my character.

It also went on to say that continuing in your coping behavior just means that your instincts are misdirected toward the fulfillment of needs you have as a human being. Acceptance of the underlying needs within you that are not being met is what brings transformation. Devising a more enlightened reasonable plan for dealing with your needs is the answer. The rule is that you take 100% responsibility for your behaviors.

So, what are the underlying needs not being met in me?

No comments: