Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Sleep, Where Art Thou?

I weighed 159.4 yesterday morning. I think this is the first time I've been in the 150s since April 2006, when I was dismayed to see the highest weight I'd been in 15 years. Now, I'm thinking I look pretty good. I finally took some of my size 12s (that were so loose they looked like clown pants) out of my closet and packed them in a box for Goodwill. I bought a pair of new pants last week, along with some new tops and sweaters. All of the size 10 pants I tried on fit, though of course some fit better than others. Sizes, oy!

I've still been having a terrible time sleeping. I don't think it's the Wellbutrin, since I'm taking my first dose at 4:55am and my second dose at 11am. (On a side note, I had to buy a watch with an alarm because I kept forgetting to take it!) I also gave up caffeine completely. I wonder if it's now psychological. I'm worried that I'll have trouble falling asleep so I have trouble falling asleep. After I finally fall asleep, I sleep well except that I've been waking up at 4am this week. I don't feel especially sleepy during the day, but I can't help but think it's going to catch up with me sooner or later.

I realized this morning that I haven't had the slightest urge to binge for at least a few weeks. Occasionally, a thought of "oh, I shouldn't have eaten that, maybe I'll now eat this" pops into my head, but I am immediately able to realize how stupid that is and squelch that little voice. I've been taking more time to do the things I want to do, rather than dust and re-organize the linen closet and other things that have been niggling at my perfectionistic self. After dinner these days I am doing things like going downstairs to work on trying to organize my scrapbooking materials, or going to the YMCA with the family. I think this is serving two purposes; I'm not anywhere near the kitchen and don't even think about food unless I'm hungry, and I'm doing something that doesn't make me feel stressed or anxious and I don't want to procrastinate. I may have cobwebs hanging from my ceiling for the next 15 years, but I won't be miserably stuffing myself with food.

1 comment:

Cilly said...

What doses of Wellbutrin do they have you on? My doc switched me over to Wellbutrin XL (I think it was XL)... cant quite remember... but it was 300mg's and it was slow release.... so I only had to take it once a day... and that worked much better for me, as far as remembering to take it - and the sleepless nights.