It was interesting yesterday to log my food intake, along with my feelings and thoughts before and after eating. It's HARD to figure out what my thoughts and feelings ARE -- most of the time I just felt "hungry". I suppose that's because yesterday wasn't a day I felt a huge urge to binge. When I got home from work I did feel the urge, but I was physically hungry also. I ate a Kashi bar with a bit of peanut butter on it. I was still hungry and then ate about 6 cups of Sun Chips. It wasn't exactly mindful eating -- I was standing up and shoving them in, but I stopped there and didn't go into a full-blown binge.
A few things I've learned about myself over the past few weeks about my binge triggers:
I can't let myself get too hungry before I eat
I can't let myself get too full when I eat
I HAVE to get out of the kitchen when I feel the urge
I need to stop procrastinating and just DO whatever it is I need to do
I have to have a specific plan for what to do when I feel anxious or am in one of the above situations
I also have been thinking that I need to remind myself that just because I can have any food whenever I want it, that doesn't mean I should always eat it. It's just common sense that eating healthful foods will be better than eating crap all the time. During the legalizing stage, Evelyn Tribole and Geneen Roth recommend having lots of your previously forbidden foods around. BUT then I think they become beckoners for me. There's a big difference between longing for ice cream for days and then eating some and enjoying it and eating some just because it's in your freezer. I think for me, it would be better to wait until I have a real, true craving and then go buy the food, rather than have the cupboards full of stuff that will jump out at me when I open the cupboard door. Then I constantly second guess myself -- do I really want a Pop Tart or do I just want one because I saw the box?
Starting Something New
3 weeks ago